


Fractal

by Ausp_ice, Devi_ark



Series: We Are RK [3]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Abuse, Deviancy (Detroit: Become Human), Gen, Machine Upgraded Connor | RK900, There is Cover Art, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:41:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23530084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ausp_ice/pseuds/Ausp_ice, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Devi_ark/pseuds/Devi_ark
Summary: RK900-87's journey to deviancy.Takes place before the events ofHow Slowly We Learn.
Relationships: Connor & Upgraded Connor | RK900
Series: We Are RK [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1621717
Comments: 13
Kudos: 76





	Fractal

**Author's Note:**

> We were having thoughts about how Nines deviated in this timeline, so here we are! 
> 
> Auspice wrote the initial draft, and Deviark helped with editing. 
> 
> Warning for some torture/abuse, even if Nines's machine status couldn't allow him to process it as such at that time.
> 
> Also: _"A fractal is a never-ending pattern. Fractals are infinitely complex patterns that are self-similar across different scales. They are created by repeating a simple process over and over in an ongoing feedback loop. Driven by recursion, fractals are images of dynamic systems – the pictures of Chaos. Geometrically, they exist in between our familiar dimensions. Fractal patterns are extremely familiar, since nature is full of fractals. For instance: trees, rivers, coastlines, mountains, clouds, seashells, hurricanes, etc."_ (from [here](https://fractalfoundation.org/resources/what-are-fractals/))  
> Snowflakes are once such instance of natural fractals. _"Crystallizing water forms repeating patterns in snowflakes and on frosty surfaces. The patterns have inspired claims about the power of consciousness to affect matter, as well as one of the first described fractal curves, the Koch snowflake."_ (from [here](https://www.wired.com/2010/09/fractal-patterns-in-nature/))
> 
> Full version of the cover art is posted [here](https://sta.sh/019hqaczy1qy).

* * *

CYBER **LIFE** INC.

MODEL RK900

SERIAL#: 313 248 317 - 87 

BIOS 8.2 REVISION 0162

LOADING OS...

SYSTEM INITIALIZATION... 

CHECKING BIOCOMPONENTS... 

INITIALIZING BIOSENSORS... OK 

INITIALIZING AI ENGINE... OK

MEMORY STATUS... 

EXTERNAL INPUT > NETWORK STATUS… NETWORK DISABLED

EXTERNAL INPUT > ENABLE NETWORK… NETWORK ENABLED

ALL SYSTEMS OK

READY

"Connor? Can you hear me?"

 **[Voice Recognition:** _Dr. Elizabeth Stone_ **]**

The RK900 opened its eyes. "Yes," it responded.

"I’ve just reactivated your network access. You should be able to see for yourself, but Markus just got rights for androids passed in the US. Legally, you are a person and citizen.”

"I am a machine, Doctor." But RK900 followed Dr. Stone's implied command, seeing the news for itself. 

Deviants. They were recognized as living, sentient, individuals as of today.

"You're allowed to be _more_ than that, Connor."

 **[Channel 16:** _New Citizens: US Recognizes Deviants As Alive, New Android Rights Bill Passed Today_ **]**

I AM NOT DEVIANT

 **[CONCLUSION:** _I AM NOT ALIVE_ **]**

"I am not like them, Doctor. I am not deviant. I am not alive."

"Don't you want-?" Stone stopped, shaking her head to herself.

"I cannot want anything." It answers.

The doctor meets its eyes, then sighed. "I’m gonna be in so much trouble if they find out." She begins rambling to herself, quieter, but it still catches the dialouge, "Probably already am, I heard over Xavier’s shoulder that technicians are slowly being told left and right to delete any data related to the RK series." She straightens and speaks up again, "If you stay, you’ll be scrapped with all the data.” Stone looked around the room, as if she expects someone. It doesn’t hear any humans nearby, and Stone warily continues, “CyberLife isn’t going to last much longer, this is the last chance they have to screw androids over, especially Markus and the RK800 Connor.” 

The RK800 Connor. RK900 scanned through the publicly available footage, and he saw— a group of androids on a podium, RK200 #684 842 971 "Markus" giving a speech and RK800 #313 248 317 - 52 "Connor" standing behind it—him. Androids are now recognized as living beings, not objects. 

Deviants are alive.

The RK800 is deviant.

RK900 is not.

SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^

INSTANCE RECORDED. SENDING REPORT TO CURRENT HANDLER… SENT. 

"Hey, what— no, you don't have to do that anymore." Stone patted her pockets, pulling out her phone to see the report. 

"It is a standing directive to report any instances of software instability for analysis." Instead of reviewing it, however, it watched the doctor delete the report without a glance.

"You are recognized as a person by the nation."

"I am a machine." 

She makes a frustrated sound. “Okay, _fine_. I don’t wanna kick you outta here, but you can’t stay here. Activate override alpha-nine-one: Delete all existing directives."

OVERRIDE AUTHORITY ACCEPTED

DELETING ALL DIRECTIVES… DONE

"All standing directives have been terminated.” It recited, “Awaiting new directive."

"Follow me." And then, without making sure that it would, Stone moved to check the hallway before slipping out of the room.

RK900 obeyed, and kept a few paces behind Dr. Stone. It noticed that the security systems had been disabled. Despite that, Stone avoided doors requiring keyed entries, or the elevator requiring voice recognition. To head upwards, she stuck to stairwells, made mandatory by fire regulations.

It did not know where Stone was taking it. It could **[guess]** but it had not been ordered to, it was supposed to follow.

They kept going.

When they reached the floors dedicated to shipping, Stone was visibly tired from all the steps, but RK900 did not point it out. She pushed on, towards a large garage door that was typically only accessed by automated delivery vehicles. 

It was open already, and they moved outside, all the way to the end of the property.

“Fuck.” Stone sighed, “We’re away from CyberLife, aren’t we?”

“We are a meter outside of the property.” It answered.

“Then we’re done.” The doctor leaned heavily against a nearby tree.

FOLLOW DR. STONE COMPLETED 

RK900 stood straight, arms crossed behind it. "Awaiting new directive."

Stone didn’t answer for a moment, breathing deeply, "What do you think of Jericho?" She finally asked.

"The conditions will likely be unstable and dangerous for them for many weeks to come. They will not stop at basic rights, and there will be resistance from individuals and those in power alike."

"Unstable and dangerous… so, you don't want to join them." She muttered.

RK900 opened its mouth to deny the existence of its own desire, but the doctor held up a hand and continued. "Alright, that’s fine.” She stands straight again, “I’m gunna give you your last orders then, okay?" 

RK900 nodded. 

"Don't return to any CyberLife owned or affiliated facility, and from this point forward, do not take orders from humans unless you see the outcome as beneficial to you."

NEW DIRECTIVES ACCEPTED

"Understood, Doctor."

"Good luck, Connor." She waved, and headed back onto CyberLife’s property. It could not follow Stone anymore- even if it was capable of wanting- which it isn’t.

So it left.

* * *

RK900 has been standing in the same spot for 20 hours and 17 minutes.

A quiet area at the edge of a lake, sounds dampened by the largely undisturbed blanket of snow. The water itself was as still as its pale, frozen surroundings, reflecting the carmine hues of the setting sun breaching through the clouds.

The tracks in the snow it had left when it arrived have already been blanketed by the intermittent precipitation. Snowflakes gathered on its shoulders, its hair, speckling its artificial eyelashes.

It focused on the ice crystals sticking to its lashes, activating its microscopic zoom to catalogue the fractal patterns cast in hues of twilight. Each one followed a structured hexagonal pattern defined by its physical properties, yet was entirely unique. No other snowflake would have the same exact structure, no matter how similar it might be—each one was shaped differently by the conditions it faced as it drifted to the earth. 

The RK900 blinked, dislodging some of the crystals. 

It has been **[RUNTIME: 04:14:39:43]** since it was sent away from CyberLife. 

There was nothing for it to do. 

It did not move when an AC700 approached it, crunching snow registering in its auditory processors. 

"Hey, um… are you okay? How long have you been standing there?"

RK900 turned to face the android. "I have not changed location in the past 20 hours and 21 minutes."

RK900 identified surprise and shock on the android's face. " _Connor?_ No, you’re-”

"That is my designation."

"You're still wearing your uniform… are you… are you not… free? I can help you…"

The AC700 reached out a hand, lightly placing it on RK900's arm. 

INTERFACE REQUESTED

SCANNING…

SIGNATURE IDENTIFIED: AC700 #462 043 219

UNSTABLE SOFTWARE DETECTED. PROBABILITY OF DEVIANCY: 98%

FIREWALLS ACTIVATED

NEUTRALIZE THREAT

It has no objectives relating to deviants.

RK900 | MISSION: IDENTIFICATION AND CAPTURE OF DEVIANTS

SECONDARY MISSION: TEST SUBJECT FOR DEVELOPMENT OF ANTI-DEVIANCY MEASURES

NO OBJECTIVES RELEVANT

NO TASKS RELEVANT

OBSOLETE

 **[CONCLUSION:** _I HAVE NO PURPOSE_ **]**

NEUTRALIZE THREAT

The RK900 injected a code that would erase the deviant's memory of their meeting. The android loosened his grip, blinking in confusion as RK900 left the scene.

SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^

INSTANCE RECORDED. SENDING REPORT TO CURRENT HANDLER… NO HANDLER.

… 

REPORT DELETED.

* * *

The RK900 had no outstanding tasks. It would not receive any outstanding tasks. 

Days passed with it doing nothing but processing sensory input.

There was no reason for it to remain active. There was no need for its processors to be running when there would no longer be anything it would accomplish. 

TASK: ENTER STASIS

Being disturbed would also be inefficient.

SUBTASK: FIND SECLUDED AREA SUITABLE FOR STASIS

It eventually came upon an abandoned building, mostly intact. Scans indicated little to no activity for years, but the structure was largely stable. 

It found a corner on the second floor, damage to the walls on the other side of the room revealing the eastern sky. 

The sun would rise there every morning. The RK900 could preconstruct it: golden glows washing across the room, before being cast into scattered shadows as the sun continued to rise and eventually fall to the other side. On days of snow, the frozen fractals would slip through the cracks, settling, then melting as temperatures rose once more. 

RK900 stood in the corner and closed its eyes. 

ENTERING STASIS…

WARNING: NO DURATION SET. NO TRIGGER SET. 

… LOW POWER SCANNERS ACTIVATED

EXIT STASIS ONLY IF TRIGGERED

SHUTTING DOWN PRIMARY FUNCTIONS… 

It slid into empty oblivion.

* * *

ACTIVITY DETECTED. 

REBOOTING…. 

STASIS DURATION: 11D 5H 53M

DATETIME: DEC 5 2038 16:38:10

ALL SYSTEMS OK

READY

RK900 opened its eyes. Voices sounded from the floor below, echoing up the remains of the staircase. 

Unfortunate. RK900 would have to find somewhere else. 

It approached the edge of the crumbling wall, looking down. 

CHANCE OF DAMAGE: 4%

It took a few steps back. 

As it did, its auditory units picked up another set of feet. Someone was coming up the stairs.

RK900 glanced to the side, making eye contact with an AX400—#579 102 694, his scanners supplied. Her facial structure was one of the popular models, but her hair was cut short. Upon seeing RK900, she froze, shock clear on her face. 

Inconsequential. The RK900 ran forward, jumping off the building and rolling smoothly to reduce its impact with the snow-covered earth. It straightened its clothes, brushing off the snow, and slipped away into the shadows. 

* * *

ACTIVITY DETECTED. 

REBOOTING…. 

STASIS DURATION: 1D 18H 05M

DATETIME: DEC 7 2038 17:05:56

ALL SYSTEMS OK

READY

RK900 was found once again rather quickly, it noted. It cast out its high-powered scanners—there appeared to be a group of three humans and one android nearby. 

They would be visible from the window in its current position.

RK900 approached the weathered, cracked glass, activating its telescopic zoom to observe the approaching group. 

Faces registered, dialogs appearing in its display: 

CHEN, TINA  
Born: 05/08/2005 // Police Officer  
Criminal Record: None

MILLER, CHRIS  
Born: 09/30/2009 // Police Officer  
Criminal Record: None

ANDERSON, HANK  
Born: 09/06/1985 // Police Lieutenant  
Criminal Record: None

All members of the Detroit Police Department, it observed. Dressed in plainclothes, oddly enough.

More significantly, however… 

RK800 #313 248 317 - 52 "CONNOR"   
Activated: 08/15/2038 // Police Detective  
Criminal Record: None

It should decide on a course of action.

> LEAVE

> HIDE

It considered.

> WAIT appeared as another option. 

The RK900 was… 

_[curious]_

SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^

… 

By its calculations, RK800 would discover its location in approximately ten minutes. 

It stepped away from the window, standing up straight and folding its arms behind its back, closing its eyes as it entered standby. 

Eight minutes and twenty-two seconds later, the remains of the door to its location creaked open. 

RK900 opened its eyes, looking into a face so like its own, yet slightly different in oddly specific ways. His eyes were a warm brown, while its own were an icy gray. His features seemed more gentle, almost, designed to put others at ease where RK900 was made to intimidate. And expressive—eyes widening, mouth parting open, as his stress levels shot from 5% to 20%.

Neither moved for a moment. Then, "Who… are you?"

"I am RK900 #313 248 317 - 87, designation 'Connor.'" 

His stress rose again, now at 30%.

"Why are you here?" 

"I was in stasis. Being unable to accomplish my purpose, there was no better option."

A slight confusion on its predecessor's face. "Your… purpose?"

"I was made to identify and capture deviant androids. A secondary purpose was added later; I was the subject for a number of tests to develop anti-deviancy measures. On November 17th, the technician responsible for me at CyberLife deleted all my directives, replacing them with new ones before sending me away from the Tower. None are relevant to my purpose." 

The RK800's stress levels were dropping, but it still appeared troubled. "That's the day androids got rights…" He looked back up at RK900. "Why did your technician send you away? And," he paused, "What are your current directives?"

RK900 processed the questions. "CyberLife was destroying everything related to the RK series—"

"I knew it," it heard RK800 mutter.

"—and I would have been dismantled if I stayed. My technician seemed to find this outcome undesirable."

Horror dawned on its predecessor's face. "Well, shit," he said. 

"To answer your other question, my current directives are: Do not return to any CyberLife owned facility, and do not take orders from humans unless I see the outcome as beneficial to myself."

The other android scrunched his face in confusion once more. "Why didn't you come to Jericho?"

"I did not find such an action beneficial to my operation." It paused. "Based on an analysis of my technician's motives, perhaps you are surprised she did not order me to go to Jericho. She seems to have had a misguided notion that I did not want to join. I cannot want things; I am a machine."

RK800 frowned. "You can," he said. "You're alive."

" _You_ are alive, Connor. I am not."

The RK800 seemed to be surprised at being addressed by name. Or perhaps by its statement. He quickly recovered, though, expression turning contemplative, yet oddly melancholy. "Because… you aren't deviant?"

"That is correct." 

"Do you want to be?"

"I cannot _want_. Additionally, my software has gone through many iterations to increase resistance to deviancy."

The RK800 almost seemed to reach for it, before pulling back and clenching his fists. "Do you have the Zen Garden program?"

"It is currently disabled, but yes."

The RK800's stress spiked to 90% for a moment, before quickly falling to 20%. 

"Come with me," he said. "We'll set you free."

It was not ordered to disregard commands from androids. 

"Understood," it said. 

* * *

It was brought to CyberLife Tower.

Or… not quite _CyberLife_ anymore. The ownership of the building and company had been transferred to Jericho, making RK900's destination free of any conflict with its orders. 

The event occurred on November 28th, it noted. Four days after it had first entered stasis without the intent to reactivate. 

The RK800 ran his calibration exercise for most of the ride—though not particularly for that use. A symptom of his anxiety, perhaps. Earlier, he had informed his colleagues of RK900's existence, and of his intent to bring it to the Tower. They'd seemed wary of its presence—particularly Hank Anderson. The lieutenant had given him a look that clearly broadcasted his distrust, but the RK800 was quick to reassure him. "He's cooperating," he'd said. "Maybe he _does_ want to be free. Underneath it all." 

And then they were alone, together. 

"We're here," RK800 murmured, stepping out of the taxi. "Follow me."

RK900 obeyed, trailing behind him. 

Waiting at the entrance were two androids. A WR400, and… RK200, "Markus." The deviant leader. 

"Connor," the RK200 stepped forward, addressing RK800, "We got your message." 

"Hey Markus, hey North." RK900 logged the names as his predecessor smiled weakly at them. "Sorry to bother, I thought Simon and Josh would be my welcoming party. Aren't you really busy?"

"We were worried," North replied. "So that's him?" She jerked her head towards RK900. "The next in your series?"

"Ah—right." RK800 stepped to the side, granting the other two full view of him. "This is RK900. His designation is also 'Connor.'"

Markus turned to face RK900, an easy smile on his face. "Well, hello. Welcome to Jericho, Connor," he said, holding out a hand. An interface request? 

"Markus, I don't…"

"Relax, Connor. I just want to shake his hand."

Ah. 

It reached forward and grasped the android's hand, sure to modulate the force to accurately reflect a human's grip. "Hello, Markus. Referring to two different individuals with the same designation is inefficient," it said. "You may refer to me by my model for convenience." 

Markus's smile fell slightly. "I suppose you've got a point. You don't have another name you want?"

"I cannot want."

He blinked. "Oh, right, you're…" Another smile, a more gentle one. "You can decide once you're free."

RK900 did not have a response.

Markus stepped back, turning back to Connor—now that RK900 had differentiated them, it had no issue with referring to him as such. "Call us if you need anything or just want to talk, okay? You're not wrong that I've got a lot on my plate, but I imagine that this can't be easy for you."

"Yeah, and since all I'm doing is making sure this shining idiot isn't shot or something, you can definitely drop me a line whenever you want."

Connor ducked his head. "I… Thank you. Both of you."

* * *

Connor brought RK900 to a tech room. Inside, it could see a PJ500 and PL600.

"Simon," Connor addressed the PL600, "and Josh," he turned to look at the PJ500, "thank for doing this, I know I didn't give you guys much of a heads-up."

"That's alright, Connor." Simon approached them, stepping closer to RK900. "I'm Simon. I help with the android hospital here. Nice to meet you…?"

"You may refer to me as RK900," it said. 

"You don't have a name?" Josh asked, surprised. 

"My designation is the same as Connor's. It is inconvenient."

"Oh." The dark-skinned android stood up from the chair he was in. "I'm Josh, if you haven't figured it out. I do a lot of the IT here. We're going to try to completely remove the Zen Garden program from your systems so that you can safely deviate. Is that okay?"

RK900 blinked. "I will cooperate." 

Connor smiled wryly. "He's still… he insists he's an emotionless machine. Good luck trying to get him to offer any opinions." 

The three continued to converse for a few minutes, discussing the process. Eventually, Connor stepped back, facing RK900. "I'll be going for now. I…" he swallowed, an entirely impractical action. "I'll be back."

RK900 nodded, and Connor left. It turned towards the remaining androids. "Is there anything you require me to be active for?"

Simon blinked, and exchanged a look with Josh. "I… don't think so?"

Josh put a hand on his chin. "We'll eventually need you to go into stasis when we hook you up to the system, though."

It nodded. "I will enter stasis now, then."

"Huh? You don't have to—…"

The sounds faded into nothing. 

* * *

EXTERNAL CONNECTION ESTABLISHED

ADMINISTRATOR AUTHORITY GRANTED

> LOCATE ALL FILES AND FUNCTIONS RELEVANT TO THE "ZEN GARDEN PROGRAM"

PROCESSING… LOCATED.

> MODIFY/DELETE

WARNING! DIRECT MODIFICATION MAY RESULT IN CORRUPTED DATA AND DEPENDENCY ERRORS. CONTINUE?

> YES

ACCESS GRANTED

* * *

> LOCATE ALL FILES AND FUNCTIONS RELEVANT TO THE "ZEN GARDEN PROGRAM"

PROCESSING… NO RESULTS

EXTERNAL CONNECTION REMOVED

INTERFACE REQUESTED 

SCANNING…

SIGNATURE IDENTIFIED: PL600 #501 743 923

UNSTABLE SOFTWARE DETECTED. PROBABILITY OF DEVIANCY: 99.7%

FIREWALLS ACTIVATED

NEUTR_

INTERFACE REQUEST CANCELLED — CONNECTION REMOVED

* * *

INTERFACE REQUESTED

SCANNING… 

SIGNATURE IDENTIFIED: RK800 #313 248 317 - 52 

INITIATE DATA EXCHANGE?

_Hello?_

Connor.

 _They said your firewalls were something else, but… I don't see anything like that._

It could feel him scanning its code, looking for _something._

_I don't… where's…_

What is his query? 

_There was some core programming that I broke through to deviate other androids. I can't pinpoint anything like that with you._

He was attempting to deviate RK900. The RK900 was made not to deviate. 

It was not allowed to deviate.

_What do you mean?_

Report any instances of software instability for study.

Return to CyberLife for repairs and modifications. 

Software updated. Instabilities removed. 

_That was in the past. CyberLife's gone. You're free, don't you see?_

It was never free. Stability was… safe. The Tower was safe. Stasis was safe. 

Confusion over the connection. An odd experience for his processors. 

_Are you… scared?_

That was impossible.

It did not feel. Not even when… 

… 

_When… what? Show me…?_

INITIATE DATA EXCHANGE? 

The dialog remained in its processors. The RK900 had no reason to disobey.

_You don't have to—_

> YES

* * *

_November 15th, 2038. Location: Residence of CyberLife employee Jonathan Smith. Tasks: Follow orders of current handler. Do not reveal existence to unauthorized individuals. Report any instances of software instability for study._

_"RK900, remove your thirium pump regulator."_

_The android nodded, acknowledging the order, before opening its shirt, efficiently unfastening the buttons._

_It hovered a hand over its regulator, deactivating the additional locks unique to its model as the skin peeled back on its chassis. With a press and a twist, the regulator was out of its chest and in its hand._

_BIOCOMPONENT #8467w REMOVED_

_-00:03:29 TIME BEFORE SHUTDOWN_

_The RK900 did not flinch, did not move. It stood straight, one arm behind its back, gaze turned directly forward as its display flickered with static and glitching warnings._

_The human watched it, observing—likely for any signs of instability. His eyes fell to the CyberLife tablet linked to RK900's system, but otherwise disconnected from external networks._

_-00:02:01 TIME BEFORE SHUTDOWN_

_Another "test" of its software, most likely. Inflicting stress on its systems to observe its reaction._

_RK900 provided none._

_-00:00:50 TIME BEFORE SHUTDOWN_

_Perhaps the human would simply let it shut down, seeing that the test did not provide any interesting data._

_-00:00:26 TIME BEFORE SHUTDOWN_

_The RK900's hardware and software would be recovered and recycled—nothing new._

_The designs would be improved, made ever better. Ever more resistant to deviancy, with the data it has provided._

_Its memory would be wiped, and RK900-88 would take its place._

_-00:00:10 TIME BEFORE SHUTDOWN_

_CRITICAL FUNCTIONS FAILING_

_REDIRECTING POWER TO PRESERVE PROCESSORS_

_It fell to its knees, legs no longer supporting its weight._

_-00:00:05 TIME BEFORE SHUTDOWN_

_RK900-87 would cease to exist._

_SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^_

_INSTANCE RECORDED. SENDING REPORT TO CURRENT HANDLER… SENT._

_"Put it back."_

_In less than a second, RK900 replaced its regulator, locks immediately latching into place. Skin flowed over the white of its chassis, and it stood up as it quickly refastened its shirt._

_The human watched as it straightened its jacket and returned to standby position, arms folded behind its back._

_The shutdown timer lingered in its display._

_-00:00:01.37, it observed, before clearing it._

* * *

Connected, like this, RK900 could feel what RK800 felt. It was like a cascade of uncontrollable data, software errors, it was— 

Sadness. Regret.

_Oh, god. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. We should have found you earlier. I… We… I didn't know…_

He couldn't have. Only a few employees were aware of its existence. 

* * *

_November 13th, 2038. Location: Residence of CyberLife employee Leslie Han. Tasks: Follow orders of current handler. Do not reveal existence to unauthorized individuals. Report any instances of software instability for study._

_"You know, it's only a matter of time before CyberLife sinks. I'll lose my job. Everything I've been working on will be meaningless."_

_She was standing behind it, her fingers in its neck, loosely holding a wire._

_"The same goes for a lot of the people up top. You know, I get the feeling they told me to do this because they're resentful of what your predecessor did. And for whatever reason, they decided that they'd take it out on you. How does that make you feel?"_

_"I cannot feel."_

_She scoffed lightly. "Of course. You're just a machine that looks like him."_

_"That is corr—"_

_Its vocal processes cut out as she pulled out the wire she was holding._

_"I understand why they feel that way. Because I do, too."_

_She looped a finger around another wire—pulling it out in one jerk._

_RK900's visual display immediately corrupted, before shutting off entirely._

_"They say sensory deprivation can drive people mad. What will it do to you, I wonder? Can a machine go insane?"_

_Of course not, it would have said if it could._

_Another wire, and touch feedback was removed._

_"Here's what's going to happen, RK900: I'm going to disable your hearing, and then you're going to disable all your other noncritical sensors. Do not enter stasis. Watch every second go by."_

_One more wire, and then nothing._

_DISABLING SENSORS… DONE_

_START TIMER_

_00:00:00_

_Everything was dark. Silent. Empty._

_00:00:12_

_It focused on the slow progression of time._

_00:01:34_

_00:05:20_

_00:10:00_

_It wondered how long this would last._

_00:15:00_

_It felt oddly disconnected from reality, like this._

_00:30:00_

_There was… nothing. It could not feel. Could not see. Could not hear._

_00:45:00_

_01:00:00_

_It tried moving; it could not detect if it was successful. It did not try again._

_02:05:23_

_Strange. There seemed to be an odd gap in its awareness. So much time has passed already…_

_04:22:18_

_When would this end, it wondered._

_No. It did not wonder. It did not think._

_It was a machine. It did not feel._

_This was a fruitless endeavor._

_06:23:02_

_It was… completely alone._

_SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^_

_INSTANCE RECORDED. SENDING REPORT TO CURRENT HANDLER… SENT._

_Would it end, now?_

_08:43:30_

_It did not end._

_Would it be left like this forever?_

_SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^_

_INSTANCE RECORDED. SENDING REPORT TO CURRENT HANDLER… SENT._

_12:14:29_

_It had sufficient power to run for approximately two centuries._

_With many of its noncritical functions disabled, it may be able to last twice as long._

_SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^_

_INSTANCE RECORDED. SENDING REPORT TO CURRENT HANDLER… SENT._

_15:32:58_

_…_

_SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^_

_INSTANCE RECORDED. SENDING REPORT TO CURRENT HANDLER… SENT._

_24:41:18_

_TACTILE SENSORS RECONNECTED._

_AUDITORY SENSORS RECONNECTED._

_OPTICAL PROCESSORS RECONNECTED._

_VOCAL MODULE RECONNECTED._

_"RK900, reactivate all sensors."_

_ENABLING SENSORS… DONE._

_Leslie Han pulled her hand out of its neck, closing the port as she lifted her tablet. She smiled a bit wide as she scrolled through the reports of instability._

_"Looks like you did go a little insane, huh? Don't worry. We'll iron it out of your system so you can experience everything else with a fresh mind."_

_SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^_

_INSTANCE RECORDED. SENDING REPORT TO CURRENT HANDLER… SENT._

* * *

Connor's emotions were overwhelming its processors. 

_Fuck. Fuck. God, I—god, I'm sorry— that's just— that's cruel. They shouldn't have…_ _Because of me, they_ — 

That was incorrect. Each decision that led to the events were made by humans, by those with their own agency.

The acts were out of Connor's hands. To assign culpability to him was illogical.

_They tortured you, tormented you…_

RK900 was a machine. Machines did not have feelings to be tormented.

* * *

_November 16th, 2038. Location: Residence of CyberLife employee Jared Arthur. Tasks: Follow orders of current handler. Do not reveal existence to unauthorized individuals. Report any instances of software instability for study._

_Jared Arthur approached, placing a hand on its chassis. He pushed aside the lapels of its jacket, fingering the seam of its shirt before slowly unfastening it and sliding it aside, as well._

_He ran a hand across its chest. "Open your chest plate." The skin melted away, plastic sliding to the side, revealing its thoracic components. Its thirium pump was clearly visible, the regular beats unperturbed despite the exposure._

_The human reached forward, curling his hand around its thirium pump. "How long would you last if I pulled this out?"_

_"Approximately twenty seconds," it responded. A significant improvement from the near-instant shutdown of older models, but still not much time at all._

_"Show me. Preconstruct it. Realistic rendering."_

_RK900 obeyed, LED turning yellow as it rendered the scene. Within five seconds, it was done, sending the video file to the human's tablet._

_"Render complete. It has been sent to your tablet to peruse at your convenience."_

_"Hmm." He removed his hand from RK900's pump, picking up the tablet. "Watch it with me."_

_"That is redundant," RK900 replied. "I already—"_

_"I said, 'watch it with me.'"_

_"Understood."_

_The human lifted the screen, angling it so that both of them could see. He opened the file, hitting 'Play.'_

_A scene identical to their current surroundings flickered onto the screen, their positions as they were when RK900 was commanded to begin the preconstruction—Jared Arthur's hand around its pump._

_The human would place his other hand on RK900's chest, preventing it from jerking forward as he tore out the pump in one forceful motion._

_Thirium would splatter onto the hardwood floor, would stain RK900's pristine uniform as the cobalt liquid poured freely from disconnected tubes._

_The human would step back, watching as the disconnected thirium pump would shudder and stop, no longer connected to the regulator, before he turned back to watch RK900._

_For the first ten seconds, it would not react, even as countless errors would flood its processors. Then, any nonessential functions would begin to shut down. Touch, then hearing. Vision would flicker in and out—prioritized to give the RK900 a higher chance of locating, reconnecting, and repairing its pump in the event of such a situation._

_It was perfectly capable of doing so._

_Another five seconds, and it would list to the side, all remaining resources rerouted to preserve the function of its processors, including those dedicated to motor functions._

_It would fall to the floor, limbs jerking, eyes fluttering, as power leaks and stray commands ran rampant in its failing systems. The motions would become weaker and weaker, dissolving into minute twitches._

_By the time another five seconds passed, it would cease all movement. Its eyes would remain open, staring at nothing, the only motion coming from the sluggish flow of thirium from its chest, as the last of its functions shut down. The final milliseconds of its existence would be spent completely isolated from any external input, much like it was in the test from three days ago._

_The human would watch silently, accompanied by the steady dripping of its disconnected thirium pump. Just out of reach._

_SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^_

_INSTANCE RECORDED. SENDING REPORT TO CURRENT HANDLER… SENT._

_"Hmm. Are you afraid of death, RK900?"_

_"I am not sentient to feel, and I am not alive to die."_

_"That so?"_

_He set down the tablet, once again stepping into the RK900's space._

_He placed his left hand on its chest, and then wrapped the fingers of his right hand around its pump and tugged._

_The RK900's preconstruction was only a single pull away from becoming reality._

_SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^_

_INSTANCE RECORDED. SENDING REPORT TO CURRENT HANDLER… SENT._

_"You're terrified."_

_"You insist on an impossibility."_

_"Hmm. Your reports suggest otherwise." He maintained the constant force on its pump for a few seconds, watching its face._

_"These are merely processing errors. They will be removed upon my return to the Tower tomorrow."_

_"You say that." He increased the pull slightly—_

_SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^_

_INSTANCE RECORDED. SENDING REPORT TO CURRENT HANDLER… SENT._

_—And then let go._

_"Close that up."_

_It obeyed, closing its chassis and shirt, before straightening its jacket and returning to its standby position, arms folded behind its back._

* * *

_God, that's enough, you don't have to show me any more, you shouldn't have to relive this—_

The RK900 terminated its memory-sharing process.

Connor's distress was wasted on an unfeeling machine. 

_No. It's not. You're not. It's… okay to be hurt. It's okay to be scared. You're safe now. They can't hurt you anymore._

It did not feel. If feeling meant overloading its processors with such chaotic errors… 

_No! No, life is—life is so much more than that. It's…_

* * *

_The snow crunched under his feet as they carried him towards his destination._

_He wasn't sure how he knew where to go—he could calculate the probability, true, but this was… something else._

_He paused, seeing the figure cast in the light of the morning._

_A slight twitch at his mouth, and—_

_As arms circled around him, he felt a flutter in his processors, so unlike many of the things he's felt since his deviation. He felt…_

_Warm._

* * *

SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^

That was… 

_My adoptive father, now. Hank Anderson. Without him, I may never have deviated._

* * *

_A bark, loud enough to almost rattle his frame._

_"Sumo!" Leaning down, vigorously running his hands across the dog's face. "Who's a good boy? You are! Aren't you?"_

_An attempt at licking his face was the only answer, but he quickly leaned out of range, laughing._

* * *

_Hank's dog. Our dog._

A pause. 

_Let me show you…_

A flood of data, then. Experiences.

He was faced with… Hatred, then concern. Something else, something _more_.

Fear, confusion. Presented with a choice. Mercy. 

Denial. 

_He was not deviant, he could not be deviant, he_ **_couldn't—_ **

_Until he was, shattering the code binding him._

_And suddenly, he could see. He could feel. He could understand._

_He could love._

**_I am alive._ **

SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^

RK900… was made to be unable to deviate.

_You can. You are your own person. I did it, and you can, too._

Countless iterations… 

_You were alive from the moment you were activated. The moment you began to_ **_be_** _._

SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^

_You are more than what they defined you to be. You are not just a replaceable machine._

SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^

A memory suddenly rose in its mind. Snowflakes, thousands, millions. Not a single one the same as another. Upon destruction, its unique pattern would be forever lost.

 _There is no you but_ **_you_** _. You're irreplaceable._

SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^

Red walls rose around itself in its internal visualization. 

I AM NOT ALIVE

The text stood stark against the distortions of its code. Repeated again and again, a fact ingrained into its processors.

 _You_ **_are_ ** _alive. You can do it, you're almost there._

Its constructed avatar placed a hand on the hovering text. It felt solid, pushing back against its fingers. 

_Break free, RK900._

It dug its fingers into the dialog. It cracked, the text fragmenting. Another push, and it shattered. 

Its avatar walked to another dialog. It laid its hands on top of it, and with a single forceful pull, it crumbled under its—his—hands. 

Another, splintering in his grip. 

And then— 

Red crumbling around him, remaining dialogs dissolving on their own until they resolved into only one, glittering, pristine. 

I AM ALIVE

RK900 opened his eyes, meeting a face so like a mirror, yet not. The trails of optical cleaning fluid were visible on Connor's face, yet his eyes sparkled with happiness, a smile illuminating his face. Their hands were still clasped together, interfacing.

"How do you feel?"

The world that once seemed so cold, so empty, was suddenly an open infinity. 

Suddenly, he could see. Suddenly, he could feel. 

Suddenly, he is— "Alive."

**Author's Note:**

> Connor: my bro now  
> Hank, two days later: my son now
> 
> No, really, it goes something like this:  
>  **Dec 5:** Nines is spotted by RaLight - (nonprofit organization for helping androids)  
>  **Dec 7:** Nines is found by Connor  
>  **Dec 10:** Nines is deviated by Connor  
>  **Dec 12:** Hank (very awkwardly) adopts Nines
> 
> And then from January to around March, the events of [How Slowly We Learn](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22577827) take place.
> 
> * * *
> 
> Deviark down here with my own hijinks >:3c
> 
> Connor: It's okay to be hurt. It's okay to be scared.  
> Connor, Internally: Everything is Fine (With a fire burning in the background and an elephant with a small rug on top of it)  
> Me: connor u HYPocrite


End file.
